Fighting the Children

One of the considerations in making ethically based decisions is whether you would want to see your actions described on the front page of the newspaper, digital or physical, the following morning; or, these days, on Facebook, Twitter or a number of other emerging public ways for people, including the disgruntled, to let others know how they feel. No, you would not want to be seen as a greedy charity. (Who would?) But the front-page fear is only one consideration in the decision-making analysis, and it should often not be the most important, even in the age of social media.

As I see it, the first question involves the decedent's wishes. I will take your word that coercion was not part of the solicitation process and that the man wanted to make a gift through his will. So, the next question is: What is motivating the man's child? Before going there, though, gift solicitors – and in this type of situation, they tend to be those in the planned giving department – must understand the importance of documenting the gift, which you did, as well as affirming it. That is, in addition to a codicil that someone might later claim was coerced, it is always a good idea to have a letter from the donor that speaks to several aspects of the motive, and which includes something about the children or others who will not be receiving what is being given to charity. The more written evidence you have, the easier your position will be to defend. Of course, as attorneys are almost always part of the will-writing process, you already have an important advocate.

But the even messier issue, as you seem to instinctively know, is the one about your charity appearing to be greedy. And this is my response: So what? That's not as cavalier as it might sound. After ensuring that you've done everything correctly and you can show that the donor wanted to name you in his will, you have, in my view, an obligation to fight for what is yours. You have an obligation on the part of the people who depend on your services. That is the issue. While we all know about greedy children – death seems to bring long-lost relatives and acquaintances out of the woodwork – any feelings about their nefarious motives don't have to play a role in your defense.

Charities are not and should not be exempt from scrutiny – plenty have acted badly over the years – but looking out for their legitimate interests, even if the process is chronicled in the media or in court, should not be a shameful exercise. It's the opposite actually: an honorable exercise.

Yes. Pursue the gift. Vigorously. And don't worry about the newspaper's readers. A good reporter will get your side of the story. But even if that doesn't happen, you will know you did the right thing.