Getting Too Close?

Getting too close to donors should be a constant concern among fundraisers, and it seems to be a particularly thorny issue within the world of planned giving. We want to accommodate our donors, a desire often laid bare by our efforts to make sure the donor is getting what he or she needs from a life-income arrangement: "Yes, this is the way your income should increase," or "This is how the annuity payments are guaranteed." Aside from that kind of hyperbole, which still litters too many oral appeals, the line between satisfying the donor and satisfying the charity is blurry. By saying "satisfying" here, I mean economically. Many donors give away a lot of money and are happy, or satisfied, to do it; thus, in an altruistic sense, there is no blur. But life-income gifts are so often driven by donors' financial benefits, the danger is to represent those interests at the expense of the charity we work for.

No, it is not wrong to occasionally help a donor. A desire to help others is the essence of being human (in my view) and that characteristic is what draws people to this wonderful profession. But it is also true that, despite the mutual warmth we generate when we talk with our supporters, a donor-fundraiser relationship is not a personal relationship. Your boss is correct to question your actions; she is responsible for your productivity. The charity you work for must make money and your job as a fundraiser is all about ensuring your charity's financial health. The harsh way of putting it: you work for the charity and not the donor, so anything you do that doesn't follow is a waste of time. Bosses are not unreasonable to apply that kind of test to an employee's work. In that sense, we are no different from any other kind of employee at any other organization, including for-profits and, even, government agencies.

You say you're helping on your own time – which tells me you're conscious of the issue – but what would happen if other donors asked you to do the same? I don't like using the slippery slope analogy (a refuge for those who can't think critically), but you should at least ask what you would decide if you found yourself doing chores for more than one donor, or choosing between one person and another. The admirable desire to help would be strained, and, it could be argued, none of that help would be on behalf of the people who are paying your salary. Furthermore, that your charity's slice of the bequest someday might increase because of your help is not persuasive: you get the bequest, whatever the amount, by selling your charity's mission and future, not by buying groceries. (To that point, I can envision fundraisers from several charities – all representing potential bequest recipients seeking a bigger piece of the pie – falling over themselves to the point where the woman is chauffeured everywhere every day.)

Sit down with your boss and have the difficult conversation. Clearly, you're always going to care about your donors. The occasional help might not be so bad, but there should be a policy, probably loosely defined, that outlines guidance on this matter. "Too" (in "too close") is a relative term and so the issue should be addressed with compassion. A healthy policy would allow for some personal activity with donors, as well as promote a sense of enlightened self-interest. But I would be cautious. Your top priority is serving the charity's purposes.